What To Do When Self Doubt Rears It’s Ugly Head
Well well, it’s been one hell of a ride so far.
I’ve been absorbing so much information lately it’s like jamming 8 cream crackers into your mouth in one go – without drinking any water. Not only have I been chewing a lot, I’ve been digesting a lot too. After digesting a lot, I’ve been………….lets not get into too much detail eh?
It has been a busy time and I’ve had to take a little time out to restructure my business plan now that I’ve got a new team member on board (More on that in another post).
So last week, something quite peculiar happened.
I woke up three days on the run with this weird feeling of fear.
I’m usually quite a good sleeper and get up most mornings quite neutral, so this was quite an interesting experience.
Whilst I got up and made my way to the bathroom, thoughts of self doubt started to creep in my head. I didn’t know why at the time. Maybe it was the pressure I’ve been putting on myself with the targets I have set, maybe it was the sheer amount of work I told myself I had to do.
Next thing you know, analysis paralysis kicks in.
I was thinking to myself: “should I be concentrating on article marketing, or should I create a product now?” “No, no, I should do some forum posting first and drive some traffic……no, I should email potential JV partners……”
So many things to do, so many routes I could take. Worst of all, I’m one of those people who always thinks about the pros and cons about everything which makes decision making a hard task.
Thankfully I recognised what was going on here and I knew what I had to do to fix it. Applying what I’d learned over the years in personal development was the true test of putting a skill into action.
My journey so far
One of the things I have achieved so far in my internet marketing quest is the Alexa ranking of this blog.
I started this blog from scratch in May and now just a little over a month, my ranking is 564,050. Not bad considering how new this blog is. There are over 13 million other sites out there in the ranks and I don’t even post that frequently either.
Some of my fellow students have had even better results, so hats off to them. It’s awesome to see the kind of things that are happening before our eyes.
So I knew I was heading in the right direction and had made good progress, so why the self doubt? What’s happening?
Comfort zones
One major shift that has happened is that I’ve been writing my plans and taking action to hit the targets.
I’ve probably achieved more in the past two months than I have the past year. This means CHANGE.
The funny thing about change is that it takes you outside of what you know. You’re moving from one position to another. Whether this change is a good thing or not, it doesn’t matter. You’ve changed positions and are now outside of the comfort zone.
That’s why I was waking up with those feelings of fear.
I’ve been progressing so much in the past month, doing so many new things I didn’t used to do, becoming a more organised and focused business owner that my brain still needed to catch up! It’s my brain trying to cope with all this change.
Growing your internet business is also growing yourself. Every time you reach a milestone, you’ve taken a “risk” to get there. Your brain resists “risks” as a defence mechanism, but it can’t differentiate between actual dangerous risk and perceived risk.
So now I understood what was happening and I needed to deal with this fear and self doubt………..
What Can You Do To Overcome Self Doubt?
These are the three things I did to get rid of those negative thoughts and this is how you can too:
1) Everyday when you wake up, start the day with gratitude and thanksgiving. Get up, put your feet on the floor and say thank you! Give thanks for every little thing you can think of even for the nice underpants you’re wearing if you want. Do this continuously for at least 5 minutes whilst brushing your teeth, you’ll be amazed at how it helps your whole day.
2) See how far you’ve come and not how far the gap is between your goal and your reality. This is how super successful people think.
For example, if your target is to have a list of 10,000 people, and you have 500 people so far, don’t keep thinking that you’re 9,500 short of your target. Look back and see how far you’ve come from zero to 500, and use that small success to build your confidence to move forward.
3) If you’re doubting yourself because you don’t have faith in the method that you are going to use, you need to believe first. I know this seems a little bit “out there” but trust me, this is how the successful people think. I can understand this dilemma as many people try something a little and don’t get the results they expected and get discouraged.
You’ve heard the phrase “seeing is believing” right? No, no no. It’s so wrong.
Believing is seeing. That’s what you need to believe.
For example, if you are doubting that blog commenting can give you a lot of traffic, your mind will give you what you want to see. Therefore some how you will find ways to justify that your theory is correct, therefore you’ll not attempt to do any blog commenting, get no traffic and reinforce your belief that it doesn’t work.
On the other hand, by believing first, you go out there and try to give it a go, then you see some results. The results reinforce your belief and you get encouraged to do more and it keeps going up and up!
A tip on believing in a method: Sometimes it’s good to question whether you should believe in a certain course of action before you do it. It’s very sensible. Don’t just follow something blindly.
But if you’re dithering, what I’d like to remind you of here is that if your mentor has told you that something works and he did it with good results which got him to where he is today, just go ahead and trust that it will work for you too. Too many questions will make you seize up with analysis paralysis. Just get out there and do it. Believe in it, and believe in yourself.
Ok, so that’s that folks. I know this post sounds a little bit weird for internet marketing, but sometimes it’s so important to get your head round these little things so you can concentrate and put your strategies into action.
Whatever you’re working on now, be it article marketing, blogging, forum posting, product creation, niche marketing, affiliate promotions etc don’t let self doubt stop you. Nip it in the bud with these three little tips.
Please share with us your experiences, your challenges too! Love to hear your stories and see if we can help one another.
To your success
Bailey
Hey Bailey,
Hope you are well and your wife had a nice birthday
I am glad your blog is climbing up the stats, I know you have worked hard to get it where it is today.
Facing fear is what it’s all about, just by doing that you will see a massive change in what you do.
Nowadays I actually look for things I am scared of and purposely do them!
Someone said, don’t know who, that the money is in the fear, so you should have a whole lot of money coming your way very soon.
Sally
Sally´s last blog ..Is Social Media FAB or a FAD?
Hey Sally!
How are you doing? I’m doing good thanks!
Thinking about it, money is in the fear. So true. that’s why 95% of people don’t make it, because they’re not willing to face their fears and do it!
You lead in being the great example of facing your fears with the interview you did and with your awesome blog. You’re an inspiration for us all.
Hope you have a great weekend and chat soon Sally,
Bailey
Hi Bailey,
What you’re experiencing is totally normal. I still have those days – it usually happens when I allow myself to get too overwhelmed. It also happens when I’m not physically able to see any tangible progress.
The best thing to remedy that feeling for me is to do some research – dive in and learn something new. Usually while I’m busy focusing on that something awesome will happen – someone will stop by and leave me an awesome comment or someone might retweet my post – I know it seems small, but it’s the little joys of blogging that keep me going.
You’ve made great progress so far – the key is: Don’t quit – no matter what. Even if it seems like things are going nowhere – change directions, but don’t quit. I kept at it when it seemed like no matter what I did nothing was getting better. Then one day I did a guest post and the next day I got an offer to take over an awesome new blog…it’s been history ever since. No way but up for me – it might be slow progress, but that’s better than no progress.
Have an amazing weekend, my friend.
Kiesha @ We Blog Better´s last blog ..The #1 Secret to Getting the Most out of Social Media
Hey Keisha,
Thanks for coming by and giving your useful tips too.
It’s awesome that you came across that amazing opportunity because you kept going and didn’t quit. Definitely a lesson for all.
It’s better to have progress than no progess at all for sure!
Hope to catch you again,
Bailey
Hey Bailey,
Really inspirational post. I can see you’ve gotten a lot of really good advice through your own personal development over the years. Your 3 tips were exactly right.
“I’ve probably achieved more in the past two months than I have the past year.” – And this is huge! Think about these last 2 months, then think about why you’ve made so much progress and how to continue it. People spend to much time thinking about how difficult things are when they have so much progress they’ve made. Thanks for helping us look at how far we’ve come!
Peace,
Darren L Carter
Darren L Carter´s last blog ..The Problem With Mentors: YOU
Hey Darren,
How’s it going my man? Thanks for coming by and as always, you keep me amazed at the consistent progress and development of your business. I’m an avid reader of you blog and if there’s anyone out there reading this, go on over to Darren’s blog and be inspired!
Yeah, its so important to think about the progress we make and not just get too caught up in how far away we are from the goal.
Chat soon Darren, have a great weekend man
Bailey
Bailey this post is right on and something that I needed as I feel the same way as you sometimes! But what you recommended is what I have been doing and telling myself especially about the part of seeing how far I’ve come in only a short amount of time.
This post is not weird at all, it’s something everyone goes through and if they follow your tips then everything really will be ok in the end and the focus will be to grow our business continually.
I have no doubt that with the addition of your new team member and your positive outlook you will rock the internet marketing world!
Anna
Anna Haller´s last blog ..Are you alone?
Hey Anna,
Thanks for your encouraging words. It’s good to know that other people go through the same thing too sometimes. It’s how we deal with it that makes the difference between someone who makes it and someone who doesn’t right?
Hope things are going well for your business too and you’ve been such a leader in trying out things that are hard to do like organising interviews. Absolutely awesome. Really looking forward to seeing your success!
Have a great weekend Anna
Bailey
Hey Bailey,
Yet another inspirational blog post from you, my friend. What you describe in your post is something most of us (or even all) will experience at some time and I have been there quite often. The remedy you recommend in your 3 tips are exactly what has helped me a lot to overcome those temporally feelings of being overwhelmed and scared. Gratitude is a major key to overcome these moments when we feel scared and belittle ourselves. And the good thing about gratitude is that you can start out with things many overlook in their daily quests. Start with your body and be thankful for the amazing capability it offers to you. You have got hands with fingers, oh my gosh isn´t that awesome? C´mon really think about it and feel it too! You can walk, breath, jump, think. You connect with great people all over the world (Thank you Social Media!), you have a fabulous coach and mentor, a wonderful family, and so on and so on. This can really be fun to focus on the good things in your life and it certainly is a great exercise to start of the day with.
Believing is seeing. Couldn´t agree more!
Bailey my friend, may you and your family have a great weekend and I am so much looking forward to meet up with you soon.
You rock!
Mirko
Mirko Gosch´s last blog ..Backlink To The Future – How Article Marketing Helps Your Off Page SEO
Hey Mirko my friend,
How’s it going man? Thanks so much for the comments. If this is something that you do, then I know I’m definitely on the right track. Great news about your new contact and contract too, really happy for you and you’re such a good example for everyone showing how living in faith and giving is the way forward.
Yeah getting into that positive start to the day is so effective, boosting your mind and focus for the new day ahead! Great advice Mirko.
Catch up soon man,
Bailey
“Too many questions will make you seize up with analysis paralysis” <—What a cool phrase there Bailey!
I know exactly what you mean.
A handy little tip is to create a montage of pictures that inspire you to succeed at what your doing (the things you want to get, the people you're doing it for, the places you want to go etc.) and keep this right by your computer. hen whenever your having a difficult day or a day of doubt, look at the picture, trust in the teachings of your mentor and crack on!!!
Rob
(** RJB **)
** RJB **´s last blog ..Really Important But Often Overlooked…
Hey Rob,
Nice little tip there man. It’s always a good to have that little reminder of what you’re doing all this for when you get lost in the sea of thoughts and do to lists! I’m def gonna put that in front of my desk.
Have a nice weekend man,
Bailey
Bailey, mate, you described exactly my feelings and my trouble nights that I’ve having last few days. I also feel overwhelmed and sometimes I think I’m lost and don’t know where to go next. Article? Forum commenting? Creating my first product? Creating a video? Try affiliate marketing to get some money fast? Arrgghhh…. too many decisions to take.
But I also learned to look back, feel grateful for what I’ve accomplished until now and STICK to the plan. If I wrote a plan is not for being on the wall just like any other painting, is to follow it.
So here we go my friend, back in the path.
Cheers
Jorge
Jorge Bento´s last blog ..Starting Own Business Online – The 5 Gold Rules
Hey Jorge,
Yes, so many decisions decisions and headless chicken going all over the place.
You’re so right. Sticking to the plan is essential and don’t distracted!
Thanks so much for coming by,
Catch up soon
Bailey
Hey Bailey,
Your post didn’t only connect but hit hard. I am going through the same phase of so many things to do but where to start and what to do first. And to add to my misery I have had to move to another city so there I go struggling and juggling with my less time recently.
As I read your blog till the Alexa ranking bit, I immediately went to Alexa and thought of seeing what my website ranks for – and its around 1.1 million by Alexa and 83K in UK. That made me think, yeah man, I have learnt to setup a blog which looked like the most daunting task ever and with 8 posts I am able to rank on Alexa. Thats not bad!
The 3 things you mentioned –
- the first about thanks giving I do follow and have also mentioned in one of my posts. Also do follow the third i.e. believe in my mentor Alex
- the one that I seem to have missed is to learn to see how far I have come rather than how far I still need to go … thanks for this lovely tip.
Been a long comment … and need to stop my rant.
To our success,
Cheers!
Abizer
Hey Abizer,
Hows it going man? You’re making progress and that’s good despite having a lot on at the moment too. I think we all go through times where we have things going on in our real lives and it can be hard to focus, but I always find going back to basics and sticking to the plan works like magic!
Thanks so much for coming by and for sharing your thoughts. Keep it up man!
Bailey
Hey Bailey.
This is a great post.
I always wake up with an attitude of gratitude. Ever since I started reading up on the law of attraction.
I suddenly realized that any thing is possible if we put enough time, effort and persistence into it.
But I hadn’t thought about how far I have come and always look at how far away my goals are.
Now I can see how much I have acheived I realized that I’m putting too much pressure on myself to “get better” and “do more”.
Thanks for this post It made me smile at myself and give myself a little pat on the back.
Gert
Hey Gert,
Yeah, you def deserve a pat on the back! The law of attraction is amazing and sometimes when you see it in action in front of your eyes it really makes you think why you never utilized it more before!
Thanks for coming by and chat soon. Hope you have a great day!
Bailey
Bailey:
This is a truly awesome post.
I do have those thoughts of self doubt. I wonder if I am going in the right direction. I wonder if I am taking too much time away from my family to build my online business.
I really think number 2 on your list is perfect for me. I need to stop worrying about what I percieve as being behind and look at how far I have come. There is so many different tasks we can do to build a business that we sometimes spread ourselves too thin trying to do them all. I need to focus on one or two tasks at a time or even outsource some of the work. I looked up my Alexa ranking as was surprised at the rank.
I am definitely grateful what what I have and the fact that I am able to have the opportunity to build an online business. My family has been very understanding and they also realize the end goal.
Thanks again,
- Rick
Rick Byrd´s last blog ..5 Ways to Generate Quality Blog Content
Hey Rick,
I can totally understand the dilemma between working on the business and spending time with the family. On the one hand, you want to spend as much time possible with them, but on the other if you don’t set up the business, then you might not be able to achieve providing for them in the best way too.
I’ve found that I’ve had to keep the balance and remember why I’m doing all this in the first place and make sure I give them my fullest attention with the time I have with them. It’s awesome that your family are so understanding too. That’s so important to have that support.
Keep it up Rick, I know you’ll get there!
Bailey
Hey Baily,
Awesome Post man. Very inspirational.
You’ve done smart work on your blog dude. I really like your 3 tips man. Keep up the smart work.
Thanks for sharing this great Post.
~Dev
Dev | Technshare´s last blog ..4 Great Blogging Lessons I learned from Children
Hey Dev,
Thanks for the comment and encouragement there. It keeps me going to keep up the work!
Bailey
Hi Bailey
I think you’d make a great D.I.Y. Man as you’ve hit so many nails squarely on their heads!
For me, the most important point is reminding myself to quit jumping straight on the computer even before I’ve brushed my teeth (how yuck is that?), and to remember to give God thanks, because without Him I can do nothing.
My hubbie (Richard) has been reminding me lately that my focus is getting a little off whack. And he’s right.
And yeah, when I wake up with my head racing with ideas and I don’t allow myself time to regain peace and perspective, then the anxiety and fears of ‘wasting time, getting more done, the money is in the list, gotta get traffic, need more optins, gotta get, gotta have wanna be…HELLPP!’ It all starts to get too much.
I’ve realised that I sometimes sit at the computer so stressed – that my shoulders are way too high up – by my ears, even!
Thank you, Bailey.
I’m going to listen to what you and my hubbie say.
Tomorrow I’m going to spend an hour in the morning praising and thanking God for all He’s done and all He’s gonna do.
I’m going to trample those doubts under my feet, kick fear way to touch, and then go get a nice cuppa English tea.
And …I’ll even brush my teeth….(maybe…)
Jaycee
Jaycee´s last blog ..The Million Dollar Question is What Would You do With the Money
Hey Jaycee,
Way to go! Praise God in all circumstances! That’s what I love.
Well you’ve been doing so well moving forward I know it’s a matter of time before things all come together. I think in the beginning there’s so much to learn and apply it can be hard to “see” the end results, but faith is the key!
Been great connecting with you and chat soon
Bailey
Hi Bailey,
Firstly thanks for sharing – comfort zones can be the biggest problems anyone faces in their lives.
It’s not the comfort but realizing that unless you do something all the other issues in our lives like better kid’s education, family holidays etc. etc…may only become a figment of our imagination.
So the problem is not the comfort zone because everything is easy inside that place..it’s facing a bit of reality and working out HOW to get going again is the challenge.
By the way congratulations on your Alexa ranking..that’s awesome mate
Well done Bailey on another great post..love ya mate
Peter Beckenham´s last blog ..My First Product Creation…This is My Plan-
Hey Peter,
Yes, focussing on how to get going when stuck rather than just staying in that place is the key to making it.
Thanks for coming by and giving your valuable input here. Hope the business is going well!
Catch up soon
Bailey
Hey Bailey
I really enjoyed reading your post i sometime feel the same way but i get over it im glad im not the only one sometimes you just say can i really do this but you just keep at it great post
thanks
Davy Norton
Hey Davy,
Great to see you sticking to it. Keep it up man, catch up soon
Bailey
I’m impressed by your achievement considering you’ve only started last May. When I started blogging a year ago I was not aware of the challenges I will face, but I promise myself that I will never give up. If there’s one important thing I have learned along my blogging journey, it is learning and evolving. Some bloggers give up easily because they don’t want change, but you are wise to embrace it.
Walter´s last blog ..7 characteristics of a loser
Hey Walter,
Yeah, there are so many challenges that arise when trying to do something new. A lot of people get overwhelmed and give up but some find a way to move forward. So important to embrace the change!
Thanks for coming by, Bailey
Hi Bailey,
I seemed to have missed hopping on your blog. So here I am finally. I think what you have achieved so far, you should be proud of. Negative thoughts will at times challenge ourselves, and the three areas you have given to challenge self doubt, works great to continue and moving forward.
I always go through this stage of self doubt, but then I take a step back, and looked at what I’ve achieved so far. And the important part is also to learn from your mistakes as challenges will come, one way or another.
Congrats on your Alexa ranking so far. It will get better, if you continue with your ground rules.
Looking forward to the master mind group sessions.
Louis
Louis´s last blog ..Article Marketing Automation Review – The Recommended Backlinking Tool For Internet Traffic Building From Search Engines
Hey Louis,
Glad you could pop by. Thank you for input here. Looking forward to connecting with you and catching up soon!
Bailey
Hi Bailey,
Great stuff, I can totally relate to it. Looking at what you have achieved rather than beating youslf up what what you have not is far more positive, each small step adds up. I also feel like my brain has been stuffed but looking back I can see I have moved on in leaps and bounds.
I like the idea of giving thanks as well and tried it… it works
Thanks for the advice
Vince
Hey Vince,
Yes, lets look forwards but realise and celebrate how far we’ve come! Every step is a step closer to our goals
Bailey
Hi Bailey,
Very Very true in your posting. There are many times I have thought about throwing the towel in. But there is something inside me to keep going and achieve the freedom that we all deserve.
I am just beginning on using JV Giveaways to boost my list. My very first only gained 5 new subscribers which many people will think a bit dismal. But I said it is 5 more than if I had done nothing. So now it has inspired me to carry on and subscribe to more.
Cheers
Craig
Craig ´s last blog ..Put Your Email Marketing On Auto Pilot By Using An Auto responder
Hey Craig,
Thanks for coming by. Well done for gaining those subscribers. The point is, everybody needs to start from somewhere and you took the action to move towards your goal. Every small step counts in the beginning, so keep on going! Soon you’ll see the fruits of your labour.
Keep going Craig
Bailey
Great tips and advice Bailey; I’m here because Sally Neill reckons you are one of her Top 10 Bloggers, and I can see why.
I’m lucky, I think I was born a positive person, and I don’t get a lot of self doubt. Also, I sold insurance for a few years, and heard speakers on ‘Positive Thinking’ twice a week. All that energy sinks in, and I think it’s really helped me over the years.
Keep up the good work, I will definitely be back.
John
John McNally´s last blog ..Which SQUEEZE PAGE is Best
Hey John,
Thank you for coming by. Yes, Sally rocks! It’s great that you have such energy and positivity. It’s a great asset to have and it would be awesome to see you in action, using that to boost your business.
Hope to catch you again soon
Bailey
Hey Baily,
Nice post my friend, There have been days when I just have so much going on in my head and I feel lost, as you said should I do list building, seo, drive traffic, write articles. I think the important thing is to decide one thing to do today and complete that task and then move on.
Cheers
Adam
Adam Sandford´s last blog ..Internet Traffic Coaching With Alex Jeffreys
Hey Adam,
Yes, on paper, concentrating on one thing at a time is easy, but the temptation to do everything at once makes it hard. Learning the skill to do one thing at a time is key
Bailey
Hey Bailey
Ah, now that is what I call a really enlightening post – I’ll even go as far as saying that every newbie that starts out should be advised to read this post.
Let’s face it, we’ve all been there, had all of those negative thoughts and an awful lot of us have considered walking away, myself included.
Having a good mentor is a real advantage and like you my mentor is Alex Jeffreys, he’s been there, proved he can do it and continues to do so – if that man says it works, then I believe
By following our mentors path the money will come and if it doesn’t who cares, let’s have some fun anyway.
Keep on truckin.
Rgds
Ken
Ken Abbott´s last blog ..Over 400 FREE Gifts In The BIGGEST Business Building Event Of the Summer…
Bailey,
I would like to thank you for this post, it speaks to me. See, I’m real new to Internet Marketing and yet I know I started this journey backwards. I got caught by the HYPE of making money on the Internet rather than the reality of it. What I did was stop dead in my tracks and began looking for the information I believed was out there. I have since come across what I believe is top notch information and I am starting to follow the methods I am learning about. As yet I have no mentor but that’s OK for now I will press on in spite of this. Your post speaks to me because I often find myself analyzing something and it begins to dominate my time to where I get very little done. When this happens again I can think back to this post and re-energize myself and get back on track.
DonV-
Don´s last blog ..Viral List Building Meets HUGE Loyalty Rewards!
Hey Don,
I think most of us know exactly what you mean and have all been down there, falling for the hype and the marketing.
Now we know there’s no such thing as a magic bullet. However, as you bring up – the mindset and approach is key. Believing in ourselves and pressing on when we face hurdles both mentally and physically is what makes the difference between someone who is successful or not.
You seem focussed and know where you’re heading, so I know you’re gonna do well. Don’t give up and thank you for stopping by and giving so much value to my readers here and thank you for your kind feedback.
Bailey